December 12, 2019

Victimhood is Powerful… But is it the Power You Want?

This past week I was speaking with a client whose bad judgment call had – without question—created uproar in her firm.

She called me not to confer about how to cleanup – she had held herself accountable and apologized to those affected within minutes—but because one of the principals involved refused to let it go.

And—more upsetting still—refused to speak with her about it.

Instead, this principal was speaking about it with anyone and everyone else who was willing to listen—and appeared to be enjoying that enormously.

My client’s question to me, “What can I do?”

My response? “Nothing.”

Why was this my advice?

Because when I was in a similar situation myself and reached out for advice  “Nothing,” was the best advice I got.  

As my advice-giver said to me, “You’ve held yourself accountable. You’ve apologized. You don’t need to beg.”

Why do some people take pleasure in holding others’ mistakes/offenses over their heads?

Because—unfortunately—victimhood is powerful.

But, as I said to my client, “Is victimhood the kind of power that others respect and admire in the long run?”

She didn’t think so.

I don’t think so.

And I’m guessing you don’t, either.

 

For more on the downside of victimhood, take a look at “Victimhood is Powerful—but It Doesn’t Wow”

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