Soooooo it seems my husband and I are low-grade addicted to “The Voice” (There– it’s out! As they say, “You’re only as sick as your secrets.”)
We got started when Keith’s cousin was a contestant a few years ago and picked Alicia Keys as his coach.
Now I had admired Alicia Keys before that. Aside from her 15 Grammy wins and 29 nominations, in the interviews I had read and heard she always came across as considered and well spoken.
Why do I like her even more these days and what do I think we can all learn from her?
We can learn how to give effective feedback.
Here’s what I’m talking about:
From time to time on the Voice nobody turns their chair around (indicating approval of the singer) and it is always a little bit excruciating.
After this occurs, the coaches will each say something about why they didn’t turn and give suggestions about what the person might do differently going forward.
Here’s what Alicia Keys usually says,
“If I may offer you anything it would be…”
Why do I love this so much?
Well if you take a look at the dictionary definition of offer it says: to present for acceptance or rejection.
And that is what slays me. Because what I hear when Alicia Keys says this is, “If I (winner of 15 Grammy Awards) may offer you (for acceptance or rejection) anything it would be….”
In other words, she doesn’t present herself as knowing it all/having all the answers/doing them a favor.
Instead, it’s a gracious, thoughtful way to give feedback that allows the receiver to keep their dignity.
And I dig that.