Despite the media’s attentiveness toward various mothers-to-be it’s often hard to know what to say to someone who is pregnant (at least this is what I discovered during a recent poll of pregnant chums) with many popular choices veering wildly between the seemingly innocuous (yet dismaying) and the wildly inappropriate.

With this in mind, I have put together a top 10 list of things I don’t recommend saying to a pregnant lady:

1. You’re HUGE
2. Are you having twins?
3. How much weight have you gained?
4. You look like you’re about to pop!
5. It’s so hard to find attractive maternity clothes, isn’t it?
6. You’re pregnant again? Don’t you guys have a TV?
7. Are you going to breastfeed?
8. Can I touch your stomach?
9. Your ankles are really swollen….
10. Wow, you don’t look pregnant at all!

As you can see from the above, the pitfalls are numerous.

Other comments I received during my informal polling were requests not to inquire about potential names for the baby (particularly if you are going to have an opinion about the names chosen) or the offering up of delivery room horror stories or stories of friends, “who had a baby who was completely normal for the first few months then was diagnosed with some rare neurological disorder—and he was just the sweetest baby,” etc. Unsolicited advice about birthing choices, childcare decisions, and methods for future discipline were also universally unwelcome.

What is the one comment that always appears to wow?

“You look beautiful.”

I’d stick with that.

Frances Cole Jones