July 26, 2018

Can You Pull Out of a Shame Spiral?

As you may be able to tell, the picture above is me on an airplane.

What might not be immediately apparent is that I’m in a shame spiral.

Why? Well I managed to get my husband and myself to the wrong airport prior to our flight.

Now, in moments like these, the temptation is always to get into the ‘how’ of how the something happened.

I’m not going to, although it is torture not to give you that explanation. 

What I’m realizing, however, is that that won’t pull me out of the spiral.

What is helpful?

Complete accountability is the only way to punch out.

In my case, I put my hand in the air and said, “This was all me. 100%.”

Should you, perhaps, have a moment when it’s all you, I recommend doing the same. Don’t get into the “how.” It only compounds the crazy.

Should you find yourself caught in someone else’s spiral, the most helpful thing you can do is not to inquire about the ‘how’. This is what my husband did. He didn’t ask how it happened—he still hasn’t. All he said was, “It’s over. We have time. We’ll still make our flight.” (FYI: we did…. a.l.w.a.y.s.  c.a.r.r.y.  c.a.s.h.)

So, in moments when you find yourself spiraling down—regardless of whether you are pilot or passenger— stay out of the ‘how’.

It’s the only way to finesse the landing.

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